Having a mental illness can be a hard and very long battle. Not only can it be tough dealing with life’s struggles as they are, but add dealing with constant battles inside your mind that affect how you think, feel, and act. It can be hard to see the other side. On top of this, what I find a lot of people haven’t spoken about, is the guilt that comes from being mentally ill. You may think, don’t feel guilty you have enough to deal with. People will tell you it’s not your fault, don’t feel guilty, or you're not a burden. Growing up having depression and anxiety is probably the most difficult thing I've had to experience. There were times when I didn't know if I would make it to see the light at the end of the tunnel. My parents did what they could. But I always felt guilty. Guilty for keeping them up late at night, guilty for causing them stress, and guilty for not being able to fix it. For not being able to fix myself. The constant late night breakdowns that were draining for me as well as the people around me. I felt terrible and wanted it to all go away. This played a part in me feeling like I was better off out of everyone’s lives, which I suppose is why people say don’t feel guilty. There’s not really a way to take away the guilt. Sometimes we have to get up in the morning at our very worst and tell ourselves we are doing our best and that’s all we can do and to love ourselves regardless of how many times we fall apart.
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